Intro
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| Becky: Welcome to a special Inner Circle Audio Lesson! I'm Becky and I'll be your host. My co-host today is the founder of Innovative Language... Peter Galante! |
| Peter: Hi everyone! Peter here. |
| Becky: In this Inner Circle, we’re talking about one thing that nobody wants to talk about. |
| Peter: Failure. And not just slightly missing a goal but utter, complete failure. |
| Becky: You’ll learn how most language learners fail before they even start... |
| Peter: ...The #1 mistake they all make when they try to bounce back... |
| Becky: ...And how you can start over despite failing the first time. |
| Body |
| Becky: Listeners, welcome back to the Inner Circle. |
| Peter: Last time, you learned how to boost your motivation... |
| Becky: ...by creating connections with a language. Such as making friends with a native speaker, watching TV shows and things like that. |
| Peter: All so you can guarantee your success, get motivated and start learning. |
| Becky: But... listeners, what if you set your goal and you know what you need to do... |
| Peter: ...but you never start. Or try to start... and fall off after a few days. |
| Becky: In other words, what if you completely fail your language learning goal? |
| Peter: Becky, Tough, tough topic today. |
| Becky: Yeah, nobody wants to talk about failure. |
| Peter: Very true. This is an incredibly common problem with beginner learners. |
| Becky: You set an ambitious goal. You’re excited. You’re finally going to get it done... |
| Peter: ...and you never start. You fail before you even begin. |
| Becky: Listeners, this is the topic of this month’s Inner Circle: |
| Peter: Utter Language Learning Failure and How To Bounce Back. |
| Becky: In this Inner Circle, you’re going to learn 1) Why people fail at the goals they want so bad... |
| Peter: ...2) The #1 mistake learners make when they try to bounce back... |
| Becky: ...And 3) how you can keep going despite completely failing on your first try. |
| Peter: So, listeners, have you ever signed up for something.... |
| Becky: Or wished you could get on track and finally master your language... |
| Peter: But you never actually got started? |
| Becky: Be sure to let us know your experience. |
| Peter: This actually is very common with gyms too, Becky. |
| Becky: Oh, I know that one from personal experience. What about you, Peter? Did you utterly fail at something this past month? Perhaps... your Spanish goal!? |
| Peter: Wow, Becky. You just went right for the kill, didn’t you? I did. I failed my Spanish goal for January. |
| Becky: What’d you promise us last time? I think it was three minutes of conversation... |
| Peter: It was three minutes of Spanish conversation, a one page written introduction and I promised I’d find a skype tutor. |
| Becky: Did you reach at least a minute of Spanish conversation? |
| Peter: Not even 10 seconds, Becky. |
| Becky: Peter. I know you don’t like Spanish. And I know you weren’t that interested at the start but it’s a beautiful language. You didn’t find a skype tutor. |
| Peter: That’s right, Becky. Not even a skype tutor. |
| Becky: But you knew what you had to do. These are small measurable goals with a deadline. |
| Peter: That’s right, Becky. When you’re right, you’re right. It was all there. Clear as day. I knew what I had to do. |
| Becky: So, why’d you fail? |
| Peter: Listeners, this is where we get into the first point: |
| Becky: 1. Why learners utterly fail at the language goals they want so bad. |
| Peter: Or why they fail before they even get started. |
| Becky: We talked about big, vague goals like “becoming fluent in Japanese” as being sources of failure. |
| Peter: That’s right. But not even getting started is a bigger reason for failure. |
| Becky: So why do most people fail before they even start? |
| Peter: The easy answer is life, Becky. We tend to be too ambitious and put too much on our plates. |
| Becky: What do you mean? |
| Peter: Well, for example, I love making lists to get things done. When I first started, every morning I’d make a list of 30 to 40 things that I’d want to get done that day. |
| Becky: That sounds ambitious, Peter. |
| Peter: Exactly. And, I only wound up crossing off 4 or 5 things per day. That wasn’t encouraging! Looking at the long list of things I didn’t cross off was actually discouraging. |
| Becky: ...so 30 or 40 extra things is way too much for a day, right? |
| Peter: For me, exactly. So I made a change. My average was 4 or 5 things a day, so… |
| Becky: You made a list of 4 or 5 things. Smart. |
| Peter: I mean, imagine, if you had a list of 4 or 5 things to do or a list of 30 things. Becky, which list would you like to tackle? |
| Becky: Definitely the 4 or 5 things. |
| Peter: This is kind of what happened with my Spanish goal and my learning goal for the month. Even though they may have seemed small, for my routine, I set them too big and too many. |
| Becky: You couldn't fit it into your schedule? |
| Peter: I could not. When you can’t get something done, oftentimes, it’s your life telling you there’s no room for that. So listen to what your life has to say. |
| Becky: Wow. Usually people say that if you fail, you deserve it. You’ve made the choice to fail. You’re responsible for failure. Things like that. |
| Peter: You’re very positive today. |
| Becky: Just saying what people told me. |
| Peter: It’s a very common black and white mentality. And it’s a little funny, I used to think like that too. |
| Becky: Really? |
| Peter: Definitely. It definitely sounds good. But with it, comes pride. Because if you fail... |
| Becky: ...you justify it to yourself that you deserved it and you’re not meant to learn language... |
| Peter: ...and you quit and you never try again. Also a common reason for failing and quitting. |
| Becky: So, how would you bounce back knowing you’ve completely failed on the first try? |
| Peter: Well, before we get into that, let’s get into the second point. |
| Becky: The #1 mistake learners make when they try to bounce back. |
| Peter: So, here’s a question for you Becky. |
| Becky: Yes? |
| Peter: If you set a goal to speak 3 minutes of language by January and you miss it, how do you make up for that? |
| Becky: Hmm, I think I would double up. So, I’d aim for 6 minutes in February to make up for it. |
| Peter: Why is that? |
| Becky: I think of school. When you miss homework, it piles up and you have to do MORE work to catch up. |
| Peter: Right. |
| Becky: Also, I think it’s pride, like you said. Because I failed the first time, I feel motivated to make up for it and come back stronger the second time. |
| Peter: Great reasons, Becky. And REALLY bad things to do to your goals. |
| Becky: Wait, really? |
| Peter: Think about it. If you couldn’t do a 3 minute goal last month. If you failed the first time... |
| Becky: Hmm, I probably wouldn’t be able to reach 3 minutes this month. |
| Peter: Right. So, DOUBLING it to 6 minutes makes the task that much more impossible. |
| Becky: Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. |
| Peter: You have to listen to your life. If you didn’t get 3 minutes done in a month, you’re not going to get 6 minutes done. Becky, this is the #1 mistake language learners when they try to bounce back. |
| Becky: They try do all the work from last month and this month - in one shot. |
| Peter: Listeners, you’re less likely to reach a bigger goal if you failed at a smaller goal. |
| Becky: Alright, so giving yourself more work to make up for a failed language goal is bad idea, right? |
| Peter: Exactly. |
| Becky: So, how should our listeners bounce back? How are you bouncing back? |
| Peter: Which brings us to our 3rd point. And Becky, you’re going to love this. |
| Becky: 3) How you can keep going despite completely failing on your first try. |
| Peter: Okay, so we covered utter failure. |
| Becky: Failing before you even get started. |
| 2:11 Peter: And we know that increasing your workload is a recipe for more failure. |
| Becky: Listeners, here’s how you bounce back. |
| Peter: Remember, if you completely failed your monthly goal like i did... |
| Becky: ...it means your life is telling you that there’s no room for that goal. |
| Peter: But does it mean that you’re not meant to learn a language? No. |
| Becky: So, what do you do? |
| Peter: Listeners, you scale your goal down. |
| Becky: Or in other words, aim for a much easier goal. Why? |
| Peter: The easier it is to get done, the more likely you’ll get it done and the more likely it is to fit into your current lifestyle. |
| Becky: Like your example with your to-do lists? |
| Peter: That’s right. That list of 30 or 40 things didn’t work. So, I started dividing them down to 4-5 items a day. And believe it or not, I’d finish most of those tasks. |
| Becky: Ah, I see. |
| Peter: And when you reach that smaller goal.... |
| Becky: ...Listeners, your motivation go will up. You’ll feel better... |
| Peter: ...and you can use that motivation to make more progress and catch up later... |
| Becky: ...instead of punishing yourself for a failed goal and failing again by adding more work. |
| Peter: Remember, if you completely fail your first goal, aim for a much smaller goal. |
| Becky: Is that what you’re doing for your next goal Peter? |
| Peter: You got it Becky. Since I failed, completely and utterly failed, my February goal of 3 minutes of conversation... this month, I’ll be aiming for 1 minute of Spanish conversation. |
| Becky: And how about the 1-page introduction and the Skype tutor? |
| Peter: The 1-page introduction will be scaled down to 1 paragraph... and the tutor, there’s really no excuse for that. I still have to find one. So I will find one first. |
| Becky: Alright, sounds great! |
| Peter: Listeners, have you ever completely failed a goal or a New Year’s Resolution? |
| Becky: And were you able to bounce back? |
| Peter: And if not, what do you think stopped you? |
| Becky: Be sure to let us know. |
| Peter: Email us at inner dot circle at innovative language dot com |
Outro
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| Becky: Well, that’s going to do it for this special Inner Circle lesson! |
| Peter: Bye everyone! |
| Becky: Thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next time. |
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